Signs of the times
'A young boy, probably only 10 years old, came alongside us and started running his finger across his throat. It reminded me of that appalling scene in Schindler's List when the women are being herded on to a train, unsure of where they are going, and a little boy does the same gesture. We knew we were not going to die but it horrified me that such a young kid should be involved in that intimidation, even if much of it was tongue in cheek'
Chelsea footballer Frank Leboeuf reflects on the horrors of travelling by coach to Galatasaray's stadium in Turkey
'Of course I know what they are. I've seen them on television'
The late Lord Whitelaw, on overhearing his Special Branch minder remark that he wouldn't know what fish fingers were
Thirteen-year old Christopher Beamon was jailed in Texas for writing a Halloween story at school, in which he wrote about shooting his teacher and fellow pupils
'Can you put that in layman's terms, bearing in mind that we are in Preston?'
Richard Henriques QC, questioning an expert witness
Bournemouth councillors will inspect the sexually explicit French film Romance and report their decision on whether to allow it to be shown in the town's two cinemas - neither of which has any intention of showing it
'I have travelled all over the globe and to me Barnsley is the finest little town in the world'
Dickie Bird, professional 'character' and retired cricket umpire
'Salad cream is one of the greatest inventions of the twentieth century'
Michelin star chef Marco Pierre White (of Leeds)
'He has got grey hair, curly with a grey beard, grey like dressy thing and he does miracles'
Natasha (7) describes Tony Blair to the BBC
Reproduced from LM issue 126, December 1999/January 2000